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Things about Konni

07/13/2026 2136

Listening to: Isn't It Stupid? - Perverts Again

So I'm having kind of a fucking stupid week. Like, just everything that could go wrong is going wrong. My grandmother died last week, two friends have also passed away recently. I'm sick, I'm kinda bogged down at work and just...disengaged. A lot of other stuff and it's all making me act so evil and stupid. But I'm a little bit bored of the constant self sabotage cycle so I'm doing other things instead of that. Mostly.

I'm working on Signal Fires, which is my second OC fic book, following Live Through This, which is very near and dear to my heart. This one is less a labor of love and more a labor of...purpose? Idk, I'm fleshing out my characters more, diving into the people they become when stripped of their safety blankets. It feels important but is also a little more difficult to write because I drafted up so much plot stuff. Why'd I do that! Live Through this was, basically, a bunch of assholes going on a walk in the jungle and things go Wrong. Signal Fires is multiple plots interwoven. Oh my god, I'm not a writer! Why did I do this! I shall continue though. Geez.

I love all my OCs a lot but Konni in particular is like...on another level to me. She's like a deity. The patron saint of my sanity and creativity. Writing her is good for me in ways I can't articulate. Her first iterration existed when I was like eight years old. Her name has changed, her story has changed, but it's still her. And I really like sharing her with others. Sharing my writing about her over the past year has been one of the best experiences of my life and I'm not even joking.

So, in an exercise of "don't self sabotage, do something creative instead," here's some Konni stuff.

She's from a low income, agricultural area of Ryloth. Before she was taken into the Order she lived in a multi-gen household, and her mother wasn't around. There was some degree of abuse going on. She was neglected. She liked to play outside and spend time alone.

She's big on jewelry. While she was a Jedi, she wore some, but most of it she just kept for special occasions because it wasn't super practical to be wearing jewelry while like...fighting a war. Post-order 66, she starts wearing a lot of jewelry all the time. It makes her feel confident.

Konni loves music. Especially metal/punk type stuff? She also love the scenes of those sorts of genres, she's such a people person and the social/DIY vibe always drew her in. When she was a teenager her and a few friends would sneak out of the temple and go see bands all over Coruscant. At those shows she was patchine people up who got black eyes in the pit and stuff like that.

Speaking of which, she is a healer. Her master was an anthropologist and a healer who's focus was medicinal practices across the galaxy. Konni learned this trade from her master, but in her early 20s became a Jedi Shadow and part-time cartographer.

She has a special ability to feel where she is in relation to any and all celestial bodies. She can point to the direction any planet she's been to in the sky at any given time. She draws out maps that she calls "webs" of near-nonsese routes to systems that she can just feel. Most people think this is pointless. It isn't.

lesbiaaaannnn

I don't really have time to work on Signal Fires right now with everything that I have going on. I have the latter half of this week and the beginning of next off work, and I'm going out of town to visit my family. Maybe I'll find time then. I HOPE. Jesus christ...

Archive

Really Big Tattoo, 07/04/2026 1300

Listening to: I Live Off You - X-ray Spex

I'm home visiting family since I got a long weekend off work for the holiday. I'm at my mom's house now but I spent the past few days at my tattooer friend's housegetting ritualistically tortured and paying a lot of money for it. We've been working on my back piece for literal years and we're now at the point where we have one more 2-day sleepover session left...Why is that so sad?! Idk. It is though.

Do You Ever Feel Like Throwing Rocks At People?, 06/27/2026 1842

Listening to: Wave Goodnight To Me - Jeff Rosenstock

Listen. LISTEN. I love what I do for a living. It's very fulfilling and whatever. Yeah. It is. I've very happy with the career I've chosen. I'm good at it. I help people during a very difficult time in their lives and that's important.

However.

I'm burnt out. I'm operating on a level of stress that's genuinely unsustainable. And that's bad. But sometimes the bullshit reaches critical mass and it loops back around into being fun? Or at least funny. Like, alright, if everything is this completely fucked then lets just keep on truckinnn, I guess! That's where I'm at. Whatever. Like really, whatever.

NJO makes me feel emotions. Remember those?, 06/14/2026 1732

Listening to: Killa Whale - Andre Nickatina

I feel like I don't read as much as I should because I'm usually rotting phone-in-bed style. And then sometimes I'm like, fuuuuck! I need to read more! There are so many good books out there and I will not live forever. Probably.

Anyways, slowly creeping towards the end of my NJO reread, and oh. Ohhhh. Tahiri.

What really gets me about Tahiri Veila is that she is introduced as just like, a silly little character. Anakin's childhood friend. And then like, what? Here she is, barefoot in the jungle, holding the corpse of the mystical creature Jedi master she and Anakin met as children. Who told them they were special, and had a destiny. And here she is getting tortured and ripped apart. And no longer caring what happens after. Losing her best friend. Accepting a foreign personality and culture into her own. She is such a study in grief, in childhood abuse. How the fuck is NJO so good?

Anyways, I stand by NJO being good. Most of it. Especially like, Balance Point through Traitor. It's always a little bit wtf when genre fiction space franchize tie-in novels are like, ridiculously good. But here we are. Less rotting, more reading.

Guess I'm blogging now, 06/11/2026 0847

Listening to: I'm So Free - Lou Reed

I was looking at other people's websites and saw a lot of people blogging and I was like, yeah okay i could do that. I don't know why I want to like what is different about this than, say, my constant oversharing on tumblr? Idk, I guess here i know that theres only like 5 people looking. So, sure, why not.

Anyways, I have family coming to town today to take care of some paperwork involving my dead dad, because dying involves a lot of paperwork. Whats funny about this is that as a mortician I meet a lot of people three times my age who say things to me like "You have no idea how hard this is, the probate process and notifying all the banks and insurance and...." which pisses me off because, I do know how hard it is. Young people can have dead parents too. But also it makes me feel better, like, see! I'm not crazy! This shit is crazy stressful and I had to figure it out on my own in my 20s! Whatever.

Funeral I'm working today, family put in the obit to come dressed as a "baddie not a saddie" so I'm wearing a bunch of jewelry and my white cowboy boots.